In this age governed by modern economy, where businesses aim at customer satisfaction and compete to be the best in their field, I am always stunned to see that some of the world giants in turns of company size and revenue compete at providing no customer service and at who is the shittiest of them all?
Our first participant is never on time; they will make you wait on the runway for an hour so you cannot use the loo and miss connecting flights/appointments, they will loose your bag at least once; and when you check in your very fragile package because you cannot take it onboard it is against their new security policy, well you can be sure that it will arrive wrecked and soaking wet; they will not apologise for doing so as it isn't their fault they are so incompetent; (possibly their parents'?) They are British Airways!
Our second participant is another airline; they will delay your flight for two hours followed by 20 minutes more, followed by 20 minutes more, followed by another 20 minutes (Note that if a plane is delayed more than two hours the company must buy you dinner, by splitting three hours that way, they are saving themselves quite a bit of money); they will not compensate you in any fashion, they will not put you in the other flight that is leaving to the same destination; the customer service will close in front of you, next, in a long line because she finished her shift and won't be replaced by anyone, you will not be informed by anyone except the flight information TV flashing orange on the black screen "now departing 22.20", then "now departing 22.40", (you get the picture). Once in the plane they tell you you're going to be served dinner as a compensation but when the food trolley comes, you realise that you need to pay for your food. They are Scandinavian Airways!
The last one is a UK retail, (I won't divulge the name because they are a customer of ours). they advertise that they have an excellent customer service in store and great prices (#COUGHBULLOCKSCOUGH#); but they do have a great range and are very conveniently located so I do shop there; I have never got any help from anyone; I have spent a lot of time in their stores going "excuse me" "Can I get some help please" "Can you spare me a minute" "I have a question" and be ignored dramatically, leaving everytime without my purchase because after standing around like an idiot trying to buy something, I thought I'd have the time to find the same item from another more helpful store and possibly at a cheaper price. Needless to say they are not doing very well.
This competition is open, you may submit new candidates.
FAILED BIRD TRICKS AND THE SKY'S THE LIMIT! - *FAILED BIRD TRICKS* *OK---ON 3, 1.....2.......THR* *WAIT* wait, ON 3 OR......... The SKY'S the LIMIT! *WHEN THE SKY GIVE Y...