Friday, September 29, 2006
on my way to 30
Today I heard from Susheel, it had been months since I last talked to him. He's a funny guy whose first love is golf, and last time I heard from him was for his 30th birthday, and just yesterady I received an invitation to another friend's 30th in Britanny. I realised it is my turn next and I am fretting it. Which I find very surprising because I rarely question anything, I just live one day after the next. I guess I come to realise that I am about to hit 30, I'm married to a brilliant man, I've got a good career, nice home, good health, few good friends, enjoy gigs and art and I wonder is this it? Most people move on to have children. and I'd love to have children some day... but I feel this is all so superficial and empty and it scares me. I'm going to be 30 and I've done it all, what am I supposed to do for the next 50 years? Go to work everyday? Bring up kids? Cook nice meals? Join a pilates class? Explore the world? Why does it feel so empty? Life goes on and so must you said Gene. I'll do my best.
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2 comments:
oh wow Hammer. I realise I must sound ungrateful and then I read your beautiful story and it is very moving. My mom agrees with you that having children will change my outlook on life (she just wants grandkids! :P) Not too long ago my boss reprimanded me for not being scared enough, well there he goes, now I am scared, but it will pass... I just need faith. Thanks Hammer.
u know, my friends are starting to have kids of their own too.. and i see the changes in their lives, their attitudes.. they become wiser, more loving, more responsible and more mature of all a sudden :)
my humble and inexperienced opinion is that you'll have kids when u're ready for it :D no use rushing it although it will change your outlook on life and love forever :D plus it is a great responsibility.. :)
so as hammer does (n quoting him :P), i also wish you success n happiness on whatever path u choose
btw, on the lighter side of things.. do u know that interracial marriage (in ur case, western + asian genes) = super adorable gorgeous kids? :D my friend married a frenchman.. and i show their daughter's pics around like they're my own lol *i'm a proud aunt hahaha*
i'm gonna stop my stupid comments now :D
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