Saturday, June 09, 2007

How to kill your husband

You might notice this book in my recently acquired items, and I thought I'd say a bit more about it before you think I plan to get rid of my lovely husband.

Here I was in the airport, waiting for our delayed flight to bring up a new departure time, I was roaming WHSmith, when this bright pink cover-book caught my eye, I approached the shelf and kneeled down to reach this well hidden book. The title, How to Kill Your Husband (and other useful household tips) made me giggle and I felt instantly the blood rushing to my cheeks in embarrassment that people may think I need a crash course on how to kill my dear husband. I placed the book back in its hidden spot and after walking away, quickly walked back, grabbed the book, handed over the money over the counter and hid the book in my bag. (Nah, my weird behaviour did not arouse any more suspicion than that).

The book was not as funny as I thought it would be. It however did make me very angry at the male gender. It opened my eyes on how submissive we are, on how men can manipulate situations and circumstances until their women look like awful nags while they still look like the good guy, may it be in the eyes of the parents, the children, the neighbours, their peers. So much anger, so little time. I did not particularly want to kill my husband after reading this book but I did want to kill any of the husbands mentioned in the book.

The first one, a PC, a dedicated house wife, sleeps around with every pretty young thing except his wife; but says that it helps their relationship; and threatens his wife with divorce when she meets another man.
The second one, another PC, convinces his wife to never have kids, only to empregnate a younger woman and move in with her.
The third one, a Shrek, doesn't help one bit, lets his wife run around like a headless chicken, and finally leaves her for a woman who doesn't nag but he helps her!!!

I finished that book a few weeks ago and it took me a while to recover from this much hatered. I know it is just a book and does not reflect the entire male population, but I get involved very easily.

What I realised from this book, that upset me:
1) We let men have the upper hand all the time, because of their over-sized egos.
2) We let men get away with being slobs, because they don't care living in a pig sty and think that if we want to live in a pleasant environment then it's out problem.
3) If you have children, never rely on your partner to ever help, you gave birth you're responsible.
4) Because they know deep inside that they are frauds, they have to constantly put women down to make them feel better, stronger, smarter.

I constantly praise hubby how cool and smart he is, (yes, Darling you are), sometimes I wonder how much I need to fool myself, staying focussed on his qualities? But then again, if being a fool is the key to my happiness, I must be smarter than I think.

To the men reading this post. I know, like Hammer raising his kids and Zombie Slayer seemingly down to earth r my hubby, that you help and love your wives in your own ways but promise me to never disrespect your wife, never make a fool out of her, because she's a whole lot smarter than you will ever give her credit for. I think men can never appreciate women enough and the men who do... well you've seen my previous post.

13 comments:

tshsmom said...

The problem is the women, not the men! They're dumb enough to marry a PC, rather than finding a down-to-earth soulmate. Then they're surprised when their "eye-candy" grows bored and moves on to his next victim.
Women aren't asking the right questions of their future mates before they marry them! :(

Jeannie said...

There are some good men out there and there are some jerks. And sometimes they are the same guy. Part of the problem is that relationships can bring out the best or worst in a person. And women aren't all sugar and spice either. I've seen an awful lot of self-centred women too - the "princesses" of the world who use whatever means they can to manipulate their men into giving them everything they want. Sometimes these women "appear" to be all sweetness and full of devotion but you find that they are more helpless than they really are, require "things" to be just so, are inclined to cry any time they are thwarted, will lie and deceive and make any consequences someone else's fault. They make genuine nice guys out to be evil.
Men are men and most of them really don't care about cleanliness unless it means they'll get sex. And they don't want to watch children unless it means they get to play a game they like. And they do have big egos and like to put anyone they can down for whatever reason whether or not it's logical because they want to be the top dog. They will put down anyone who is something they are not - so if you are a woman you are less, or a man of different colour, education, country, religion, like a different brand of beer or cheer for a different sports team. If you submit to the treatment, you make yourself less respectable. At least until you claim that territory as your own and they have no say in it. Then they will defer to you and be respectful. It's all territorial. I think a strong woman has always managed to garner respect even if she was "only" doing "women's" work.

Kitem said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tweetiebird56649 said...

I took one look at the title and thought to myself she just got done saying that she liked her Shrek and didnt want to get rid of him but now shes reading a book on how to kill her husband? But after reading further down after you explained further I knew what you were talking about. Yikes. Well have to go get Kora from school. Have a great day. N.

Jenny! said...

I have a hard time understanding these sorts of situations, woman play the victims too well. We can't blame men 100% for disrespect, we as woman have to make sure that we are not disrespected by men and if we are, we do something about it. Stand up, be strong, and get respect...don't ask for it...take it!

adampls. said...

well theres a simple answer for this.
become a lesbian!

Anonymous said...

What are you women doing on the computer? Shouldnt you be making your man a sandwhich and make sure to clean up the kitchen!

Anonymous said...

I have a man who hurts me all the time and makes me look like a dragon. I hate him and I want him dead...not a divorce but death to him, how can I make this happen????

Anonymous said...

Shannon said, How could you put things like that on a computer???

Helene said...

To the last two comments..

What??? Are you f**king retarded? This is a book title! A book I book because I thought it would be humorous and had a cute pink cover then I read it and did not enjoy it as it was a drama and not funny at all.

nichola said...

where can i find this book it sounds good me and my partner have together for over a year now a sometimes i want to knock him the f**k out.whem we are walking down the street he is looking at other women an its like what is wrong with me if i aint good enough why the hell are you with me i will find someone who wants me for me. i had our daughter over 3 months ago an i lost the weight so it aint like i still have the weight i have some stretch marks thats it but f**K it i will kill him in his sleep

nichola said...

where can i find this book it sounds good me and my partner have together for over a year now a sometimes i want to knock him the f**k out.whem we are walking down the street he is looking at other women an its like what is wrong with me if i aint good enough why the hell are you with me i will find someone who wants me for me. i had our daughter over 3 months ago an i lost the weight so it aint like i still have the weight i have some stretch marks thats it but f**K it i will kill him in his sleep

Helene said...

Hi Nichola, sorry I can't respond to you directly, I could not access your details. The book is by Kathy Lette, you can find it on Amazon. It does make other relationships look swell in comparison so I guess it will boost your morale and confidence in your marriage.

WOW! Impressive if you've lost all your pregnancy weight, I had a baby 8 months ago and there are still 2 stubborn kilos :P

You should not care about other women, men will be men, I'm sure he finds you the most beautiful of them all :) All the best. xox